Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Thursday 6 March 2014

Forced marriage and Islam

It is already some time ago when I took in my home our next neighbour girl in, with bleeding wounds and totally shaken. As a 15 year old she was married out by her brother and she refused to follow his wishes.

I do recognise their where also other underlying factors which made the brother crazy at her. She continuously had lied to him, played truant, had stolen many things, and as such not only violated Islam law but also the law of the Belgians.

He wanted to bring to her more security and a strong hand to keep her on the right track. Though the means to direct her where not ideal and I had to explain to him children could not be married against their will.

English: Islam in New Zealand book launch, 200...
Islam in New Zealand book launch, 2007. Young boy holds book. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Several Americans may think forced marriages are only committed in some Asian-Muslim communities. In West Europe we have seen many cases where children where given, sometimes already at the age of 12 to others in marriage. The West of Europe also encountered several "murders of honour". the law of honour has been a plague a few years ago, and we could regularly hear about such murders or abductions to keep up the honour of the family.

It is good to see to write about the important matter of child grooming and of marriage in Islam culture.

Lots of Muslim groups have different interpretations and do not seem to understand that Islam forbids beating up or torturing children and forced marriages. Last week we saw an imam on television saying it was al-right to beat up the women because the man was responsible for her to keep her on the path of Allah. Many more Muslims should come to understand that for a marriage to be valid there has to be mutual consent from both parties. this is so for the civil law, but also for Islam, Christian and Jewish law.

We therefore would like to invite Muslims to come to read what the Prophet Muhammad dictated and considered words form the Creator of man and wife.

“O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may Take away part of the dower ye have given them,-except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.” (Koran 4:19 Yusufali)
Clearly this indicates that it is by the Elohim forbidden to inherit women against their will, which would be the case when a girl is married to somebody she does not love. You could wonder why so many people living in the West still do not want to see that the Western customs are according to Allah His will, having Himself saying
“... it is not lawful for you that you should take women as heritage against [their] will, and do not straiten them in order that you may take part of what you have given them, unless they are guilty of manifest indecency, and treat them kindly; then if you hate them, it may be that you dislike a thing while Allah has placed abundant good in it.” (Koran 4:19 Shakir)
In Islam on Forced Marriages cites many Hadiths giving proof that for a marriage to go ahead the person has to be consulted, her permission must be given.
 She cannot be given in marriage without her permission.
The Rutgers University Muslim Student Association  knows that Islam is beautiful, but also says
 "it is us Muslims that sometimes give it an ugly face".
They hear stories about incredibly contradictory people
—a man frequently in the first row at the masjid for every salah is abusive to his wife at home. A brother dropping fat checks every year at the masjid fundraiser actually makes his money from a chain of liquor stores. Some Muslims avoid MSA because they feel people there are judgmental, which can be true to some extent. One imam reports a young man came to him asking for advice — he had gotten a girl pregnant. The imam asked him, why didn’t he use birth control? The young man said he refused to, because he knew it was makrooh (disliked) in the religion.
We as westerners are confronted with many stories and are often confronted with bad behaviour of Muslims. When I was teaching in Brussels and had in some classes nearly all Muslims they permitted many more things a normal western person would not dare to do. also when I walk on the streets in my neighbourhood I am confronted with words those very young children shout at us or at my dog. It sometimes could may let Christians and atheists think that Islam is just a cover up to allow many things which in our society are just not allowed or not appreciated. Often the Islam is just used for the outward appearance.  A good example I often encounter at work at the Airport Brussels International, where those ladies fully dresssed and covered, even in burqa (بُرقع) (though this is a forbidden dress in Belgium, nothing is done against it) they have a case full of high alcoholic drinks. (!?!) And sometimes I also can find them having lots of cigarettes (which according to Allah is a product damaging the body and not to be used).

According to several Muslims they do not have to take it so seriously, as long as they keep the Ramamdan, by not eating when it is light but enjoying life and eating a lot when it is dark. As such we can find lots of Muslims smoking a lot (defiling their body), speaking with discontent over women, not taking care of their children, not keeping their promises, not telling the truth because they consider they may tell lies to an unbeliever, etc..
Often we also hear to their defence pagans violate their treaties and attack the Muslims first, therefore they as Muslims may use the same tricks those unbelievers use and are also allowed to fight back in self-defence.Many seem to forget that permission to fight the enemy was and should be balanced by a strong mandate for making peace:
 ‘If your enemy inclines toward peace, then you too should seek peace and put your trust in God’

The Rutgers University Muslim Student Association talks about a confused mindset several Muslims may have. It
 isn’t new, but was a problem for the Ahl al-Kitab (People of the Book) in the time of the Prophet ﷺ. They were too concerned with ritual and the letter of the Law, while failing to implement the spirit of the Law.
Those wrong actions by children and adults of the Islamic faith give the world a wrong impression, because in the media they are daily confronted by Muslims who preach violence and hate.
Islamophobes use those media attention and the several Flemish converts who went to Syria to fight as a proof of the danger our world is in for a Muslim invasion by terror.

Please do find the articles:
 بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ Islam on Forced Marriages
بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ Quran 9:5 – Sword Verse

Face of Musa, Hand of Fir’awn



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Monday 23 September 2013

Bible Guidelines for a happy marriage

Bible Guidelines for a happy marriage by bro Jon Bilello.
Price 5.50 pounds + postage

Summary: The fairy tale romance is typically the story of a boy and a girl attracted to each other with magical passion, enduring some perverse trial that threatens to destroy them and painfully end their relationship, but they conquer all and go on to live happily ever after. Unfortunately in real life almost all the challenges begin after the fairy tale ends.
English: A Fairy Tale by Dorothy M.Wheeler
English: A Fairy Tale by Dorothy M.Wheeler (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
No matter how hard we try there will always be potholes and bumps along the road in any relationship. But the mutual caring, love and emotional support of a husband or wife can make all the difference in whether or not we persevere. This book offers sound, proactive, biblical advice on how to build and maintain a happy marriage. Available now to order in the UK from Biblia Books. Order online at www.bibliabooks.org.uk or by telephone 01270 569879 or email mrywhttkr@yahoo.co.uk
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Saturday 31 August 2013

Being religious has benefits even in this life

Kenneth Gilmore
Kenneth Gilmore27 augustus 14:37
We've heard the claim 'religion poisons everything' ad nauseum. Turns out that being religious has benefits even in this life. Via David Bailey at Science Meets Religion:

A 1999 study, which involved a nine-year follow-up analysis of 21,000 American adults, found that religious attendance of at least once per week resulted in seven additional years of life expectancy. What’s more, this effect mostly remained in place even after adjusting for various social factors and health behaviors [Hummer1999].

A 1997 study of 5286 weekly church attendees in Alameda County, California found that these persons were 25% less likely to die than infrequent church attendees. These results were attributed in part to better health practices, expanded social involvement, exercising more, and remaining married longer [Strawbridge1997].

In a 1998 study of 1931 elderly adults (55 years and older), weekly church attendees experienced the lowest rates of mortality in the study group, while non-attendees experienced the highest rates. This study also showed that volunteer work in addition to church attendance contributed to even longer life expectancy [Oman1998].

A 1999 study of 4000 seniors (64 years and older) found that the death hazard was 46% lower for frequent church attendees, compared with infrequent church attendees. As noted in other studies, frequent church attendees were physically healthier, had better social support, and displayed a set of healthier lifestyle behaviors [Koenig1999].
English: Ogden Utah Temple of The Church of Je...
Ogden Utah Temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A 2004 study comparing Utah residents who are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) with those who are not LDS confirmed, not surprisingly, that the LDS members had much lower rates of tobacco, alcohol and drug usage than the non-LDS group, since these substances are strongly discouraged by the Church. The study found that life expectancy was 77.3 years for LDS males versus 70.0 years for non-LDS males, and 82.2 years for LDS females versus 76.4 for non-LDS females. Interestingly, however, the study noted that differences in rates of tobacco use explains only about 1.5 years of the 7.3 year gap for males, and only 1.2 years of the 5.8 year gap for females. The author suggests that this additional gap may be due to better overall physical health, better social support and other lifestyle practices [Merrill2004].

In an April 2013 New York Times column, Stanford scholar Tanya M. Luhrmann summarized some of these results, and then added her own observations. In evangelical churches she has studied as an anthropologist, she found that people really do look out for one another, showing up with dinner when friends are sick, or simply talking with them when they are unhappy. They are relatively more generous, often in private contributions, when others are in need. She mentioned that when one member of an evangelical group cried at needing a $1500 dental procedure, yet had no money, her friends, many of whom were students with very limited funds, covered the cost by anonymous donations [Luhrmann2013].

Source: http://www.sciencemeetsreligion.org/blog/2013/04/are-there-benefits-to-religious-belief-and-participation/

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Wednesday 2 June 2010

In marriage not wounding each other


In marriage, through one another you can each find yourselves
and become more yourself.
The most difficult is finding the discipline not to use your knowledge of the other’s weaknesses and vulnerabilities to wound.

Dutch version / Nederlandse versie > In het huwelijk elkaar niet verwonden


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