Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts

Friday, 1 March 2013

Emotional pain and emotional deadness

We all experience pain at some time in our lives.
Physical pain can often be helped by medication but emotional pain is much more difficult to deal with. There are times we wish we could completely escape from such grief and hurt. We may even read books, take course or set boundaries in an attempt to find ways to reduce or eliminate this dreadful pain. This is good and may be helpful but there are a few points we need to bear in mind.
English: Hot bottle rash in a person with chro...
Hot bottle rash in a person with chronic abdominal pain who found some relief from the application of heat. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


The opposite to pain is not joy but emotional deadness. If we never experience pain and grief it will be because we are also unable to experience love and joy. As a wise person said, ‘Pain is the price we pay for caring.’

God does not promise to take away our pain. He promises to be with us, comfort us and give us peace in the midst of our pain (Phil. 4:6,7). He shares and feels our pain and who better to do so. He experienced unbelievable pain on our behalf as the price of His caring.


“6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to god. 7 and the peace of god which passes all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds through christ jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7 MKJV)

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Find also:
  1. Meaning of life 
  2. Suffering
  3. Offer in our suffering
  4. God helper and deliverer
  5. God's instruction about joy and suffering
  6. God's promises to us in our suffering
  7. Suffering - through the apparent silence of God
  8. Suffering continues
  9. Suffering leading to joy
  10. Surprised by time in joys & sufferings

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English: Illustration of the pain pathway in R...
Illustration of the pain pathway in René Descartes' Traite de l'homme (Treatise of Man) 1664. The long fiber running from the foot to the cavity in the head is pulled by the heat and releases a fluid that makes the muscles contract. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)



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Friday, 14 October 2011

Experiencing God

Experiencing God What is the first emotion...
Alan Hermann
Experiencing God

What is the first emotion that you experience when you think of God?
There are many answers to this question. Some are helpful and some dangerous but none are neutral.

Probably the most dangerous place of all to be in, is to answer, ‘nothing’. If the thought of God brings nothing to our heart then we desperately need to spend time with Him strengthening our relationship.
There are two seemingly opposed answers that are in fact complementary. They bring together apparently differing emotions to build one glorious whole. Neither is greater than the other. Both are important on their own but together they make a far greater whole. In no particular order they are ‘awe’ and ‘love’.

Awe by itself can, if misunderstood, lead to servile fear or a sense of worthlessness. We can begin to see God as mighty but distant and lose the precious truth that we live from within His eternal hug.

Love by itself can become seen as sloppy sentimentality as we lose sight of the fact that God is our friend but not our mate. Together they show the awe filled grandeur and power of the One who loves, as well as the tender Father heart of the Creator and King.

To live the full life we need to experience the fullness of God. His hug is warm and His arms are strong.


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2013 update: 

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Thursday, 10 June 2010

Be ye angry and sin not



"Be ye angery and sin not"

The Greek philosopher Epictetus said many years ago that "any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him."

When talking to my staff at work over the years, I often used Epictetus’ observation after a client had really upset them. I would tell them that no one can make you angry without your permission. One day a gentlemen came into my office, and we had a discussion with my door open, and they heard his conversation with me. Later, after he left, I walked out and they all looked up at me smiling and reminded me that no one can make you angry without your permission. I replied, "That is true and I just gave him permission." We all had a good laugh.

We are in control of our emotions, and we must control them if we hope to please our heavenly Father. Anger itself is not a sin. We are told that "God judgeth the righteous, and God is angry with the wicked every day." We know that God cannot sin, so His anger is righteous, His judgments are just, and it is right for Him to feel indignation over the failings of mankind. Our anger is not always justified, and often we sin when we react while we are angry.

We know that what made the Lord Jesus angry on many occasions was the hardness of the hearts of those he had come to save. In one instance, a man with a severely deformed hand was brought before Jesus by the authorities who hoped to use the man’s deformity to discredit Jesus. Mark tells us, "And when he had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other." Jesus was angry but he did not sin. We need to take care not to sin when we are angry.
What should we do when we begin to feel the flush that anger brings, when our heartbeat quickens and our temper rises? We must take immediate action to take control of ourselves, and many times the action to take is to retreat and not respond. Back away, turn around, bite the tongue, but do not react. It is when we respond too quickly to the anger that fills us that we use inappropriate words and excessive actions that are sinful.

We can do something in anger that cannot be undone. They tell the story of Alexander the Great who in a fit of anger grabbed his spear and threw it at his best friend. It hit a vital spot and the friend fell down dead. Overcome with grief, Alexander fell on the dead body weeping, bitterly regretting not having controlled his fit of anger. We know that King Saul many times cast his spear at David as he was playing the harp trying to soothe Saul’s feelings of depression. In a moment of anger, Saul even attacked his own son, Jonathan, with a javelin. Fortunately the LORD was protecting David and Jonathan and they were able to escape the fate of Alexander’s best friend.

When angry, we can say things that hurt, we can act in a very un-Christlike way, and sadly, we can do it towards those we love the most. We need to learn to be in control of our emotions. While anger is not a sin, we must be very careful that we do not react in anger and sin in the process. We must be in control of our emotions at all times. We need to plan how to bring our emotions under control when we feel anger.

There is a story about a time when Abraham Lincoln’s secretary of war, Edwin Stanton, was accused of inappropriate actions by a general. Lincoln suggested that Stanton respond by writing the general a letter. When Stanton finished the letter, he showed it to Lincoln who praised him for the strong, direct language he used in the letter. "What are you going to do with it?" Lincoln asked. "Send it," Stanton replied. Lincoln shook his head. "You don’t want to send that letter," he said. "Put it in the stove. That’s what I do when I have written a letter while I am angry. It’s a good letter and you had a good time writing it and feel better. Now, burn it, and write another."

Abraham Lincoln’s method for avoiding an angry knee-jerk reaction was to write a letter, which gives cooling off time and a chance to plan a more balanced response. It has been said, Speak when you are angry and you will give the best speech you will ever regret. Rather than blurting out our thoughts, we need to walk away from a situation when we’re angry, count to ten, take some deep breaths, and perhaps write a letter so that we don’t react hastily and sin. Usually, as Lincoln found, that letter written in anger should never be sent. We should rip it up and then rewrite it to soften our language, remembering as Solomon tells us, "A soft answer turneth away wrath." So often the actions we contemplate when angry are actions we would later regret if we acted on them.

We can read in the book of James how to control our emotions by listening more and slowing down our reactions: "My dear friends, you should be quick to listen and slow to speak or to get angry." Let us keep in mind this good advice, and remember the words of Paul who tells us, "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath".
Robert J. Lloyd

The Christadelphian
TIDINGS
OF THE KINGDOM OF GOD
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Friday, 14 May 2010

Joy: Foundation for a Positive Life

JOY:  Foundation for a Positive Life

   Wouldn’t you like to experience deep and enduring joy?  Wouldn’t you like to be joy-full?  Be assured ~ you can!

   The world has a woeful shortage of joy and a surplus of fear, worry, discouragement and depression.  Even the “pursuit of happiness” and obsessive pleasure-seeking do not bring deep and lasting joy.

   Let’s first understand the difference between joy and happiness.  Happiness is an emotion, and God never intended for people to be in that emotional state all the time.  There is “a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance” (Ecclesiastes 3:4).

   Biblical joy ~ true joy ~ comes from filling the spiritual void with good relationships, primarily an intimate relationship with the One who is pure joy.  Jesus put it this way:  “I am the vine, you are the branches.  He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit” (John 15:5).  That fruit includes much joy!

   The Bible speaks much more often of joy than of being happy.  “Hap” means chance and is the root of several words ~ happen, haphazard (dependent on mere chance), hapless, happenstance (a chance circumstance) and happy.

   Happiness is a glad feeling that depends on something good happening.  God wants us to experience happy times (as long as God approves of what is happening).  But His greater desire is that you have unconditional JOY.  Jesus said His joy would “remain in you” and “your joy no one will take from you” (John 15:11; 16:22).

   Think of joy as a strong foundation that supports a variety of healthy emotions, including happiness. The long-range evidence of joy is general gratitude, contentment, optimism, a sense of freedom and other positive attitudes.

   Joy looks out and up, not inward ~ A common mistake is to think that getting something will make you happy.  We tell ourselves, “If only…”  But joy and happiness come much more from giving and serving than from getting.

   The Apostle Paul reminded his listeners that Jesus Christ had taught this very thing:  “There is more happiness in giving than in receiving” (Acts 20:35, TEV).

   To grow in joy, we must resist not only self-pity but also being self-centered and self-absorbed. For joy to flourish, we must focus on loving others and especially on loving God.

   Joy is largely composed of gratitude ~ gratitude for the wonderful things God has done for us and His “exceedingly great and precious promises” for our future (2 Peter 1:4).  Gratitude produces joy (1 Thes. 5:16-18).  And our gratitude should be for other people’s blessings as well as for our own (Romans 12:15).

   Try to follow this biblical formula:  Add to your life gratitude, humility, forgiveness, faith, hope, patience and love.  Take away resentment, anger, fear, worry, materialism, greed, jealousy, complaining and pride.  The result? JOY!

   Joy is spiritual, supernatural and essential ~ God is joyful ~ far more than any human being ever was!  It is tragic that many people think of God as somber and stern rather than cheerful and smiling.  He is enjoying His creation and especially the delightful anticipation of many new “sons of God” (Rom. 8:14, 19).

   True followers of Jesus Christ will be joyful also.  Psalm 68:3 says, “Let the righteous be glad;…let them rejoice exceedingly.”  God desires that we serve Him “with joy and gladness of heart” (Deuteronomy 28:47).

   Paul spoke of the “joy of the Holy Spirit” (1 Thessalonians 1:6). It is through His Spirit that God shares and communicates His joy.  And when Paul lists the “fruit of the Spirit,” joy is second, preceded only by love (Galatians 5:22-23).  If we are filled with godly love, won’t that produce joy?  Of course it will!

   Joy is a major topic in the Bible.  In the KJV, “joy” appears 158 times and “rejoice” 198 times (not counting other variations such as joyful, joyfully, joyous, jubilant, happy and glad).  Rejoice is the verb form of joy, meaning to feel or have joy!  Clearly there is great emphasis in the Bible on expressing joy.  That explains why the Bible also emphasizes prayers and songs that praise and celebrate God (James 5:13; Psalm 150; Colossians 3:16, 17).

   Joy is not optional.  The Bible repeatedly commands us to rejoice!   The most emphatic exhortation is in Philippians 4:4, where Paul says, “Rejoice in the Lord always.  Again I will say, Rejoice!”

   Joy because of trials?  God’s joy continues to flow through His people even during their suffering because of their rock-solid hope of future everlasting joy in His Presence.  They know that all suffering is limited to this short life, and the time will soon come when “there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying” (Revelation 21:4).  They “rejoice in hope of the glory of God” (Romans 5:2).

   We also have good reason to rejoice because of our trials when we understand how God is using those trials to help us build godly character.  “And we know that God works all things (even severe trials) for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). More specifically, Paul wrote that “we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope” (Romans 5:3, 4 NIV).  James wrote, “Consider it pure joy…whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance” in remaining faithful to God (James 1:2 NIV).

   And because Christ suffered for each of us, we should have a special joy when we are persecuted for our faith.  Jesus said, “Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven” (Matthew 5:11, 12).

   The number one key to Joy: God’s Spirit ~ Supreme joy is God’s nature and character!  We see proof everywhere in God’s creation, i.e., birds singing, animals frolicking, flowers blooming, brooks babbling and the sun shining!

   Our unique joy begins when Christ comes to live in us (Gal. 2:20). We then have an intimate relationship with the Lord God, through His Son ~ the One Psalm 43:4 calls “God, my exceeding joy!”  God’s Spirit is a tree of life, producing life-giving fruit which includes great joy!

   Jesus prayed for His followers “that they may have My joy fulfilled in them” (John 17:13). He taught, “Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full!” (John 16:24).

                                                                                         Don Hooser